How to kill “The Flesh:” Be quiet while being judged.

God has introduced me to another life discipline in 2016: sitting quietly while others (including significant relationships) misunderstand and judge me unjustly or without all the information. Essentially, giving them the last word... or the only word. Historically, I have never been good at this :) (thanks Law school and Philosophy!).

It has greatly helped me to know that God is my "Supreme Court" and has ruled me "innocent" (Colossians 2:13-14, Heb 10, etc...), but I also recently realized that by sitting quietly, it is actually my "old self" (who I was before being born again in Christ) that is offended and threatened when I am misunderstood and judged. In fact, that "self" or my "flesh" is actually being put to death when I do not have the last word or defend mySELF.

In contrast to the watered-down American "gospel" of SELF-esteem and religion as an add-on to a healthy SELF, CS Lewis elucidates the true gospel in one sentence: "God does not want to hurt you...He wants to kill you." See Rom 6, gal 2:20, Eph 4:22-23, Luke 9:23

This sounds harsh until I realized that my old way of doing things was actually killing me (Roman's 6:21): it lead me to tailgate slower drivers at high speeds, regularly yell at my kids because they interrupted and drained MY time/energy/emotions, push MY way to the front of the line in MY career, feel sorry for MYself, stick up for MYself...until I was exhausted and had a knot of anxiety in my chest daily.

I am not perfect now (and was also selfless in many other ways before), but I am more clear about what the problem (and solution) is: we must deny ourSELF, take up our cross and follow Jesus. And the discipline of not having the last word (or any word), especially when being misunderstood, is a good place to start. I am in less control nowadays of outcomes..but I have had many consecutive years without even a day of anxiety. Praise God for new life in Christ!